Project Text

Anna Osuna 

Professor Broadous 

PAS 114 B 

23 April 2012 

Ana Gonzales Peer Critique 

Voice/ Tone: 

● You had a strong thesis statement because you automatically let the audience 

know your standing point and what you were going to express in the paper 

● You supported the prompt you chose to focus on the theme of person vs. society 

in the book I believe. 

●  I think if you provided more evidence you could support your evidence better 

Audience: 

● You spoke to the audience well in the beginning I got lost with your focal point 

of the essay but you regain your focus later you might want to make your first 

couple of paragraphs clearer so the audience does not get lost. 

● I think your paper was informative and straight forward and attracted the 

audiences attention 

Evidence: 

● The evidence is strong, the quotes you chose from the book support your 

statement of people vs. society. 

● A suggestion is that you should try to focus on different parts of the book to make 

your point even stronger for example the brotherhood.

Structure: 

● The structure of the essay is organized besides some paragraphs that would maybe 

work better with the pervious like the second and third 

● I am not sure if Authority looks good being capitalized it is distracting to me 

personally so maybe it will be the the reader. 

Organization: 

● Your paper used a broad vocabulary in compared to many other essays I have 

read 

● I never got lost during your essay besides the evidence in the second paragraph 

can be confusing but you get back on track the next paragraph after. 

Meaning: 

● The meaning is clear that the power between races in society is unfair and unclear 

● The meaning is also straightforward and not sugar coated and very informative. It 

makes the meaning stronger because you have evidence and drive behind it 

● Overall your essay was good I think if you decided to go back and add even 

stronger evidence your paper could even be better. Branch out to other areas of 

the book so you can show many parts of the book support this theme not just one 

character. The organization was neat and easy to read.